LOS PAPERS DE QUINTANA ROAD

cruz ortiz

c/s

Tuesday, June28th

Today is June 28th —i drove out to Quintana Rd. — at the site of one of the darkest moments in texas and american history - 2022 —- an abandoned trailer was found yesterday - with 46 dead bodies and 16 survivors –on the south side of san anto - – as i exited off 410 - i doubled checked the location on mis google maps- - and to make sure i had at least one good roll of ilford B&W film — iso 400 — i had two

As i turned onto the long trash-sprinkled brushy road — sheet metal fenced junk yards on both sides of me - i already spotted a couple of media rental cars filled with laptops, scraggly camera dudes, and eager young pretty-faced journalists — i was gettin’ close — i slowed down for the narrowing road - with more rentals and media trucks —- i pulled into a close enough spot - jumped out with my Nikon One Touch L35AF 35mm with 2 rolls of film in my vans hip pack –

I walked straight up to the yellow police caution tape - there were about 30-40ish media folks - maybe 50 —there was only one motorbike police officer holding the line that closed off the street - i asked some of the camera guys if this was the site — they said no - and pointed past the motorcop to the top of the hill - about half a mile down was the site —- i asked why the media was back so damn far—- two of them chuckled at me — ‘you know why’ —- i took some bad photos

I ran into some photojournalists from the local rags —- benny and scott - this wasnt there first rodeo — we didnt talk about the obvious - we ended up talking about the texas sandlot craze - it felt strange to do this —-- but its only been a couple of weeks since the uvalde massacre -along with the complete choas of law enforcement response failures —-- then theres the pinche governor and allllll the bigot republicans— – there was also the mariachi / corrido art intervention—-- aaaand then there was pinche scotus —- fucking up things for the beautiful gente con uteruses — and of course the jan.6th yappings —-its all connected —and --its been alot —- for everyone—---------- -anyway sandlot seemed like a nice thing to talk about in the shade of a huische tree

Another motorbike police officer rode up to the yellow tape - he announced that they were opening up the road —- thats when folks started making the trek to the site — it was like a half mile down — so went back to get my truck —- other folks started running to their vehicles - pop up tents and tripods started to collapse - as everyone wanted to get a glimpse of the scene —- as i jumped back into the truck and headed down the jam packed road - i saw benny and scott — rolled down my window and told them to jump in the back —- they gladly took the ride — then we picked up another photojournalist from houston who was also at uvalde for new yorker magazine — his name was go - he was cool —- then shortly after - a univision camera guy jumped in the back – i had a truck load of journalists — surreal to the least

I pulled up to what seemed like the spot - the journalist jumped out and started to scatter —-- the trailer was gone —- there was nothing left but the regular quintana road basura —-- then two women walked up with flowers and these vibrant colored crosses hand made from tamale husks - as they quietly walked on the side where the train tracks were - they carefully placed the crosses and some candles on the ground - as the journalists couldnt find anything to put a camera on - they all turned to the mujeres —-- —- as the women talked to the journalists — i wandered off and took some photos of the tierra —-- huisache trees —- tall grassses — nopales — mesquite trees — and then i took some photos of the gargantuan white billowing clouds set with a vibrant kings blue —-- this incident has happened before — i started thinking of all the inmigrantes that have taken this same journey — down this same i35 corridor —up through san antonio--

This is death —- —----- the death of 51

After while —--I offered some media folks rides back to the original taped off area —they were all gonna stick around - i ran thru my rolls — and jumped back in the troca —- as i drove back i offered rides for the two women —- i told them that i wasnt with the media — i was an artist — they accepted the ride— - they were telling me how they were organizing a vigil at pearsal park and how they have spent years with immigrant rights groups ——- im not sure i heard everything they were saying — i was still shaken up with all of this —

i slowed down —- and i saw go was walking back to his vehicle too— i offered him a ride again —he jumped in the back as we drove down the hill to first site — —--i slowed down otra vez—-pulled over - i thanked the mujeres for what they are doing - we said our goodbyes as if we were now life long friends –- go jumped out and thanked me for the ride —- then i headed out

I had taken 410 to get there —- going back home i took i35 north —- thats when i saw my sculpture —---- a couple of years back i was commissioned to do a gateway public art project off of i35 and zarzamora —- i remember thinking about some of the first ideas i had that surrounded the history of this same route for so many indigenous and immigrants — the sculpture is over 40 feet - it towers above the i35 bridge over zarzamora street —- i took the next exit to pay a visit —--

After i parked at the little emergency hospital on the corner - i crossed the tracks and just started taking pictures —- it started to rain — the clouds wer a deep gray — the sculpture looked heavier — —-- i walked to the front of the sculpture

— i just stared at the text —- SIEMPRE DREAMING OF YOU —- this sculpture was dedicated to all the brave hearts who believe in the unknown - who believe in hope - we act on dreams — may we never give up hope —-- they would want us to carry the fire

As i write this —im listening to mozart’s requiem d k. 626—-----

the total loss has risen to 51 - —------- 51 people - 51 humans —- 51 lovers — 51 dreamers —- 51 smiles —- 51 lives —-that wanted to live a little more —

cruz ortizMay 26, 2023