UVALDE MAY 24TH 2023

Uvalde—May 24, 2023

Yesterday me, Joaquin my son, and 5 mariachis met up at Anthony Medrano's office around 10:15am - a couple of days ago Anthony had called me and said that news reporters were calling him again to ask about our game plan for the anniversary of the Uvalde massacre - last year me and Anthony had organized over 50 mariachis to perform in Uvalde days after the May 24th school shooting - it was an incredible response to something that had left an entire community in shock—-– the young ar-15 shooter took the lives of 17 children and 2 teachers - along with 17 others who survived—- and to make things even worse —- the already heavily present law enforcement took 90 minutes to take down the shooter and rescue survivors— – this entire area of texas will never be the same 

last year the effort to organize mariachis was to bring some sense of comfort to the devastated community - another component was creating a corrido that would help document the incident - and like last year we hand-printed these corridos punk rock style and handed them out as the mariachis were singing —--

As we were driving into Uvalde - we immediately sensed the tension with immigration trucks alongside the highway and next to the railroad tracks - one of the trucks had a trailer with several ranch style golf cart things —- these are often used for hunting as they easily cut thru brush and terrain - this entire region is big brushy hunting land — except of course these vehicles are in the business of hunting immigrants —---

We also spotted several dps vehicles on both sides of the highway right when you get to the Uvalde welcome sign —- again —- this stretch of 90 has always been militarized —- but it felt different this time —- these most likely were the officers who were at the shooting last year — 

When me and joaquin pulled up to the town square - the 2 block radius of parking spots were all blocked off - each parking lot had a dps vehicle — this of course added even more tension especially since the mayor earlier in the week was discouraging folks to visit the murals and the memorials — he later retracted but it was pretty obvious it worked - this community is conditioned to law enforcement —- 

We parked about 2 blocks away - get our cameras and the stack of corridos and started making the small quiet trek to the square - a couple of journalists i know started to jump up and ask ‘where are the mariachis’ — i respond ‘theyll be here — they run on mariachi time’ —-- theyre cosmic like that —-------- 

I immediately start to visit each individual cross around the square pool - the pool and the carlos cortez sculpture were cleaned up - the pool even has a new coat of light blue paint —- it was really nice - in fact the super large piles had dwindled into more coordinated placements - some even had painted wooden altares with shelving and hand crafted frames - some even had solar paneled yard lights —- (anthony was the one who spotted those out - he speculated how each altar was taken care by the families as response to still take yearning to care for their babies )------one of the altars had an small inscription on the hand crafted altar with ‘to Amerie, from papa’ —-i turned away as my eyes started to sting—- the pain is still here 

Im so mad —-- —-------

I remember last year when i visited with Elaine Arradillas - a badass journalist and writer - who was covering uvalde - which btw was like the 40th shooting she was reporting on —-- she said everyone was in shock mode — but in like 2 months - everyone will be pissed —- and thats when you will see family members step up —- of course we saw that - this past year has been torture for those family members - —--most of them going up every week  to deal with politicians who value their checks from the gun lobby more than the lives of tejanos —--- and when i walked around the memorials - you could see it the ojos of the familias —-- theyre pissed —-- 

I brought my new leica point-and-shoot that brother Rene got me —-super muy fancy camera —-pero thats how i roll—--- — i brought 3 rolls of ilford black and white - with one roll loaded and ready —--------im literally burning with rage —- and then i see a lone mariachi — in the sea of journalists and familias —- he was might light —--- i slowed down - and walked over

He was from New Braunfels —- a sweet little waterin hole between Live Oak and San Marcos —- he heard about the state-wide call for the congreso de mariachis in uvalde —----so he showed up in full traje 

I introduced myself and he quickly replied that he had connections with the original compañas de america —de san antonio —-now i dont if yall know pero they are kinda of a big fuckin’ deal— i mean anthony is the mero mero of conductors for the mariachi bowl in pinche los angeles —----en serio—- look that shit up —----- anyway he —-the lone mariachi was here to help with singing at the memorial —--thats when then the  journalists started to swarm

Then another man showed up —-- he asked the first mariachi if they were still going to sing —-- they talked real quick and the man left —-- he returned within minutes in full traje —--- como clark kent y super man 

Not much longer did i spot anthony and the 5 mariachis from san antonio —--anthony stopped cold at the first memorial and lost it —---now im not a big emotional type of person —- i know im working on it - since last year ive added another therapist/coach person that i keep trying to meet up with to make sense of my persistent drive to deal with these hard topics —-its no joke a lot— but to see another grown ass man —-in full mariachi traje cry at the first cross he saw —-mis ojos started to sting otra vez

Most of the journalists lookin for that right angle on a story waited patiently for all the mariachis to pay their respects —---as soon as they were done —-they started with the interviews - the wall of cameras, microphones, popup tents started to swell up around the small band of troubadours

Uvalde is the region where the original spanish empire had a border between Coauhilla and Tejas —- the actual border was the Nueces river or Chotilapacquen —-- this area was and still is indigenous land —-----and of course this why for the looooongest time this area has been highly militarized —-- from numerous spanish expeditions, anglo texan land grab transactions, civil war skirmishes, and anti-mexican lynchings—-- this area has a ton of history —-

Currently Uvalde sits between 2 mega prison/detention centers and is about an hour from the current US Mexican border —------ empire is still present —-- white supremacy is still the law of the land where texas mexicans are the overwhelming majority —------ it isnt difficult to stop and make some quick connections to why this school shooting and the response is a little different—--

After the first barrage of questioning journalists —-- anthony and his brave band of mariachis started to post up -  me and joaquin started to pass out the corridos —------- the first song was very faint —-it was the first song that most mariachis sing at funerals —--- ‘te vas angelito mio’

Me and joaquin split up to pass out corridos - i went straight to the little crowd that were demonstrating on the main st at the edge of the town square - most of them were holding large orange flags —-----orange is the color that folks wear nationally to end gun violence —-- as i was passing them out one woman says to me ‘is that the song they made for the kids?’ —- i said ‘yes’ —-she asked for 2 more - as i handed them out to people —it felt like people were so desperate to hold onto something that helped them process what had happened —--

As came around to the end of the demonstration line - i started to hear the mariachis sing ‘amor eterno’ —-- so i put the posters on the ground and took out the leica —- most of the pics i took of the mariachis angled to where i framed in the tops of the trees and the super texas-sized clouds that hovered still over the town square —- the sky was a deep deep blue - like deep parts of lake amistad blue —--- this song always chokes me up — one of the tv journalist had to step away - her blood shot eyes couldnt hold it - so she walked off crying leaving her camera guy fiddling with chords —--

I walked back to the small little memorials —--and i just stared at them - —the flowers - the faded photographs in frames - the plush toys - the knic-knacs - the toys - the solared powered lights - —----------------—-------im a dad —- —-like a super mexican dad —and - i love my babies —- i don't what i would be like- if i had lost them like this —--- i dont what else these parents can do to make changes - i dont how much people actually really care about what happened - and everytime i talk to folks about uvalde - most people talk without any sense of hope –—- as if this is just going to go away — or somehow things will just continue —-- 

I think about how this feels like a lynching —-- as if the lives taken have no worth -  with the locals around Uvalde county walking around como zombies —--- missing pieces of themselves —---looking for answers - —--and all the while —law enforcement increases and leaders  play bobblehead bingo on the news —-- 

The mariachis wrapped up after a handful of songs - —--- the crowd slowly dispersed 

The mariachis started to walk around back to the memorials —--- we regrouped after a while under some young pecan trees - the rains had all the trees a bright spring green —the air had a nice clean crisp feel to it —------ we said our goodbyes to the little memorials one last time - and quietly headed back to san anto 

Cruz ortiz

c/s